understanding incel culture
Elliot Rodger
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Incel Shareable
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The Pill System
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❓What is an Incel?
The term incel refers to people, mostly men, who feel unable to have romantic or sexual relationships, often blaming others, particularly women, for their experiences. While not all incels engage in harmful behaviour, some online groups encourage misogyny, victimhood, and, in extreme cases, even violence. These spaces can negatively shape how young people see themselves and their relationships with others.
📍 Where Did Incel Culture Begin?
The term “incel” was originally coined in the 1990s by a Canadian woman named Alana, who created a website called “Alana’s Involuntary Celibacy Project.” Her goal was to build a supportive, inclusive space for people of all genders who felt isolated because of their inability to form romantic or sexual relationships. It was intended to foster understanding, empathy, and community for those dealing with loneliness—not hatred or misogyny.
🚨So what changed?
Over time, especially in the mid-2000s and 2010s, the term and the concept were co-opted by male-only online forums, where the tone shifted dramatically.
These communities began to focus more on bitterness toward women, resentment of attractive men, and anger at society as a whole.
⚠️ Who Was Elliot Rodger? Why Parents Should Know His Name
Elliot Rodger was a 22-year-old man who carried out a deadly attack in Isla Vista, California in 2014, killing six people and injuring 14 before taking his own life. Before the attack, he posted a YouTube video and a long written manifesto, expressing deep anger at women for rejecting him and at men who were more socially and sexually successful. After the attack, some corners of the internet began to idolise Rodger, especially in incel communities. He’s often referred to in these spaces as “The Supreme Gentleman,” a nickname he gave himself. To many incels, Rodger became a symbol of revenge against a society they feel has rejected them. His attack is now seen as a turning point in the rise of violent incel extremism online.
This is one reason why understanding incel culture is so important for parents: Rodger's story is used to radicalise others—often vulnerable, isolated young men who spend too much time in toxic online spaces that validate their pain but twist it into hatred.
🔍 Where Incel Culture exists online today
Incel communities exist in various corners of the internet, often hiding in plain sight. Popular gathering places include anonymous imageboards like 4chan or 8kun, Reddit-style forums, Discord servers, Telegram groups, and even in YouTube comment sections or gaming chats. These spaces use coded language and in-jokes that make them difficult to spot, even by the most attentive parent or caregiver. Though some platforms have banned overt incel communities, new ones continue to appear, often under innocuous names.
These communities often use coded language and memes to bypass moderation, which makes it difficult for outsiders—including parents—to recognise harmful content.
⚠️ Language to Look Out For
A major part of incel culture revolves around a unique and often harmful vocabulary.
Chad: An attractive, confident man who easily attracts women.
Stacy: A stereotypically attractive woman seen as shallow and only interested in Chads.
Manosphere: A network of online communities where men discuss gender issues, often promoting misogynistic, anti-feminist, or extreme views on masculinity and relationships.
80/20: Incels believe that he top 80% of women only go for the top 20% of men, leaving the bottom 20% of women for the bottom 80% of men.
Hypergamy: A term based on the biological principle that women are sexually selective for self-preservation.
Going ER: Refers to the act of committing mass murder, as inspired by Rodger.
Roastie: A misogynistic slur aimed at sexually active women.
Looksmaxxing: The belief that physical appearance is all that matters for dating success.
LDAR: Lay down and rot
Foid: A derogatory term used to by Incels to reduce women to a sub-human group.
Normie: A person who is neurotypical with average attractiveness or intelligence.
Ragefuel: Information that contributes to an incel’s increasingly angry state of mind.
Ropefuel (also known as “Suifuel”): Topics that feed depressive or suicidal ideations among members of the incel spectrum.
💊 The "Pill" System: Decoding the Ideology
The "pill" metaphor is central to incel and other online subcultures. It’s borrowed from The Matrix, where taking the "red pill" reveals an uncomfortable truth.
Pill Colours & their Meaning:
Redpill: Belief that society lies about attraction and gender roles; often tied to misogyny and anti-feminism.
Blackpill: A more extreme version—believing that looks and status are the only things that matter, and nothing can change that.
Bluepill: Mainstream beliefs—trusting in romance, equality, or personality over looks.
Whitepill: A hopeful perspective—believing life can improve with effort or change (rare in incel spaces).
Pinkpill: Female version of blackpill, often involving self-loathing and resentment toward men (in adjacent communities).
🌐 What's the link to the Manosphere?
The manosphere is a network of online communities where some men discuss masculinity, dating, and gender issues but many of these spaces promote toxic ideas like misogyny, blame toward women, and extreme anti-feminist beliefs.
Communities within the Manosphere include:
⚠️Warning signs and indicators
Many of the indicators of a radicalisation concern can also be applied to Incel ideology.
✅ Why Awareness Matters?
Awareness matters because these online spaces can quietly influence how young people, especially boys, see themselves, women, and relationships. Many toxic communities present their views as “truth,” offering easy answers to real struggles like rejection, loneliness, or insecurity. Without guidance, vulnerable teens may absorb harmful messages about gender, blame others for their problems, or develop extreme beliefs. By understanding these subcultures, parents can spot red flags early, have open, supportive conversations, and help their kids build healthier views of self-worth, respect, and connection.
💡Interesting Fact
Despite the negativity, some former incel community members have "de-radicalised"—often after finding therapy, friendship, or broader support systems. This proves that early intervention, empathy, and guidance matter.
The term incel refers to people, mostly men, who feel unable to have romantic or sexual relationships, often blaming others, particularly women, for their experiences. While not all incels engage in harmful behaviour, some online groups encourage misogyny, victimhood, and, in extreme cases, even violence. These spaces can negatively shape how young people see themselves and their relationships with others.
📍 Where Did Incel Culture Begin?
The term “incel” was originally coined in the 1990s by a Canadian woman named Alana, who created a website called “Alana’s Involuntary Celibacy Project.” Her goal was to build a supportive, inclusive space for people of all genders who felt isolated because of their inability to form romantic or sexual relationships. It was intended to foster understanding, empathy, and community for those dealing with loneliness—not hatred or misogyny.
🚨So what changed?
Over time, especially in the mid-2000s and 2010s, the term and the concept were co-opted by male-only online forums, where the tone shifted dramatically.
These communities began to focus more on bitterness toward women, resentment of attractive men, and anger at society as a whole.
⚠️ Who Was Elliot Rodger? Why Parents Should Know His Name
Elliot Rodger was a 22-year-old man who carried out a deadly attack in Isla Vista, California in 2014, killing six people and injuring 14 before taking his own life. Before the attack, he posted a YouTube video and a long written manifesto, expressing deep anger at women for rejecting him and at men who were more socially and sexually successful. After the attack, some corners of the internet began to idolise Rodger, especially in incel communities. He’s often referred to in these spaces as “The Supreme Gentleman,” a nickname he gave himself. To many incels, Rodger became a symbol of revenge against a society they feel has rejected them. His attack is now seen as a turning point in the rise of violent incel extremism online.
This is one reason why understanding incel culture is so important for parents: Rodger's story is used to radicalise others—often vulnerable, isolated young men who spend too much time in toxic online spaces that validate their pain but twist it into hatred.
🔍 Where Incel Culture exists online today
Incel communities exist in various corners of the internet, often hiding in plain sight. Popular gathering places include anonymous imageboards like 4chan or 8kun, Reddit-style forums, Discord servers, Telegram groups, and even in YouTube comment sections or gaming chats. These spaces use coded language and in-jokes that make them difficult to spot, even by the most attentive parent or caregiver. Though some platforms have banned overt incel communities, new ones continue to appear, often under innocuous names.
These communities often use coded language and memes to bypass moderation, which makes it difficult for outsiders—including parents—to recognise harmful content.
⚠️ Language to Look Out For
A major part of incel culture revolves around a unique and often harmful vocabulary.
Chad: An attractive, confident man who easily attracts women.
Stacy: A stereotypically attractive woman seen as shallow and only interested in Chads.
Manosphere: A network of online communities where men discuss gender issues, often promoting misogynistic, anti-feminist, or extreme views on masculinity and relationships.
80/20: Incels believe that he top 80% of women only go for the top 20% of men, leaving the bottom 20% of women for the bottom 80% of men.
Hypergamy: A term based on the biological principle that women are sexually selective for self-preservation.
Going ER: Refers to the act of committing mass murder, as inspired by Rodger.
Roastie: A misogynistic slur aimed at sexually active women.
Looksmaxxing: The belief that physical appearance is all that matters for dating success.
LDAR: Lay down and rot
Foid: A derogatory term used to by Incels to reduce women to a sub-human group.
Normie: A person who is neurotypical with average attractiveness or intelligence.
Ragefuel: Information that contributes to an incel’s increasingly angry state of mind.
Ropefuel (also known as “Suifuel”): Topics that feed depressive or suicidal ideations among members of the incel spectrum.
💊 The "Pill" System: Decoding the Ideology
The "pill" metaphor is central to incel and other online subcultures. It’s borrowed from The Matrix, where taking the "red pill" reveals an uncomfortable truth.
Pill Colours & their Meaning:
Redpill: Belief that society lies about attraction and gender roles; often tied to misogyny and anti-feminism.
Blackpill: A more extreme version—believing that looks and status are the only things that matter, and nothing can change that.
Bluepill: Mainstream beliefs—trusting in romance, equality, or personality over looks.
Whitepill: A hopeful perspective—believing life can improve with effort or change (rare in incel spaces).
Pinkpill: Female version of blackpill, often involving self-loathing and resentment toward men (in adjacent communities).
🌐 What's the link to the Manosphere?
The manosphere is a network of online communities where some men discuss masculinity, dating, and gender issues but many of these spaces promote toxic ideas like misogyny, blame toward women, and extreme anti-feminist beliefs.
Communities within the Manosphere include:
- Mens Rights Activists (MRAs)
- Incels (involuntary celibates)
- Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
- Pick up artists (PUA)
⚠️Warning signs and indicators
Many of the indicators of a radicalisation concern can also be applied to Incel ideology.
- A sudden and unexplained change in behaviour
- Sudden and unexplained changes to friends and appearance
- No longer doing things they enjoy
- Becoming secretive, withdrawn or isolated
- Becoming sympathetic to extremist ideologies and groups (including extreme misogyny and racism)
- Developing a fascination with violence or weaponry
- Changing online identity or having more than one online identity.
✅ Why Awareness Matters?
Awareness matters because these online spaces can quietly influence how young people, especially boys, see themselves, women, and relationships. Many toxic communities present their views as “truth,” offering easy answers to real struggles like rejection, loneliness, or insecurity. Without guidance, vulnerable teens may absorb harmful messages about gender, blame others for their problems, or develop extreme beliefs. By understanding these subcultures, parents can spot red flags early, have open, supportive conversations, and help their kids build healthier views of self-worth, respect, and connection.
💡Interesting Fact
Despite the negativity, some former incel community members have "de-radicalised"—often after finding therapy, friendship, or broader support systems. This proves that early intervention, empathy, and guidance matter.
